Sunday, 11 January 2015

Taking the next step

I had marked this moment coming as the moment. And I don't know why but in my head that had faded into nothingness. And I was just carrying on. But all of a sudden it has become a moment again. 

I am doing that thing. I am stepping out in a last cry of FEARLESS as this year ends and brings me to something very new. 

Even within all the sanity of it all this seems like utter craziness. 

How is that you know what you are doing? Where do you place your foot with such certainty of the foundations?

And she is leaving. Which makes me feel like all I was sure of is crumbling beneath me. I don't even remember how life happened before. 

More than anything this feels like a choice to step into something hard. 

This new season isn't going to be like anything I've ever glimpsed before. My prayer is that this will push the boundaries. 

Never have I wanted to sit still. And this is the moment. 

May this be the season in which the truth of you being all I stand on comes to life. It is by your strength alone. 

May the margins of my life find the space and identity they need. May all grow in sync and unity and strength. 

May the right seed fall on the hard ground, let me be ready for the weeds and bless the growth. 

May there be space for me to create in the quiet and in the biggest noise. May rest be a usual rhythm of a life lived well and full. 

And may I never forget the wonder I have found in making coffee. The community I have seen. The miracles at work. May I remember the impact of a smile and a presence filled one. May I always hold dear the repetitions. 

Making coffee has genuinely changed my world in a way that was hoped for and expected but the extent was never quite imagined. It is a crazy thing to see birthed. Accidents are a thing I believe in less each day as wonderful coincidences form underneath the blessings of a mightily intentional God. 

And here I stand.  And here I'll stay. 

This is yours God. May you take all the glory. And may this time of change, this hard grind figuring out of how the pieces fit be filled with your Holy Mystery and joy.