Friday, 17 January 2014

Fearless.

I've heard it said many a time. We don't choose our OneWords - they choose us. I felt it coming, my nose twitched, my heart niggled all through December - January was approaching and it was time for the next word on my journey. 

When God says "wait" the focus surely falls on what is to come, but I found a Holy, refining fire in the Now. I actively made the choice to live in the moment, here as it is, Now; I took the dare to live {safely} and, within that, the dare to REST. 

But amidst it all: as I became present to myself, as I am here and Now, I found my barrier. I found my Jericho. 

Fear. 

Four letters that grip, that throttle, that starve, that hold me back. 

Four letters that stop me from becoming; from stepping into who God calls me to be. 

He chooses me and yet I refrain from stepping forward; I quake in my boots and fall to the ground as the grip of fear shakes my inner core. 

My dreams are quenched. Stamped on. Lost. Fear drives them away. 

But let me whisper loud a Holy truth that shall always remain, four words that take that four-letter word and show it who's boss: "Do not be afraid."  The daily heartbeat of God. 

He whispers it into our hearts, and daily I ignore Him. Daily I make choices that show fear, that demonstrate powerlessness, that refrain from the utter-trust that God asks for. 

Fear of failure. Fear of outcome or consequence. Fear of succeeding. Fear of change. Fear of losing or losing someone. Fear for the sake of fear. 

My heart is gripped by and drowned in fear. But this is where I stand and say NO LONGER. 

I rise to my feet even under the heavy weight, because in Christ all things are made possible. And as I stand I release a warrior cry "NO LONGER". 

No longer will my choices be driven by fear. 

No longer will fear map out my future. 

No longer will I hide because of fear. 

No longer will my relationships be hindered by fear. 

No longer will I insult God, by, in the act of holding onto it, say that He is not big enough to take my fear. 

No longer shall this continue. This year. THIS year I hand it to Him. 

I admit my utter vulnerability. I admit my powerlessness. My weakness. My inability. 

It is one thing to step out in spite of fear, and another to step out without fear. 

I don't believe that God asks us to fear but do it anyway. I believe He is quite clear, "do not be afraid". 

I hear the Father's heart showing His love. His protection. His hope. 

I hear God taking that fear and dealing with it all. 

We are called to live without fear. 

Not in our strength, but His, for His glory. 

There is a Holy stamp on my heart, and it engraves "Fearless". 

Foundations will shake, strongholds will fall, mountains will move. I am created to be Fearless. 

It's going to go wrong. I am going to fall away, I'm going to lean on my own understanding and ability. It's going to take me to crazy places: places I can't even begin to imagine! As I let Fearless be where my choices and decisions, hopes, dreams, and steps forward come from, God is going to lead me on one incredible journey of faith and trust. But always, beneath it all, God is holding me up: keeping me from falling. 

If God is for me, whom then shall I fear?