Dear Lovely Girl,
Man was it amazing to chat with you. To not hold back and just let my dreams weave their way into words and out into the air.
It's hard and it's horrible, this God thing I mean. It is so un-understandable and completely confusing and conflicting and beyond-human. But today I saw a spark of hope.
This little spark flickered and maybe a fire in the depths of me is still burning, perhaps there is something that is growing.
Walking around with the weight of the world... & the clouds of darkness immersing themselves over me doesn't leave much room for hope, or light or even just living.
But this is a journey: a process, a road to something else.... this is a step by step process and certainly more like a marathon than a sprint.
You know, we don't agree on everything, we aren't both 100% but there is something that's so beautiful to share - the raw honesty. Thank you for putting yourself out there, and being vulnerable to me. I said I find it hard to trust, and the truth in that extends to every relationship I have: thank you for opening the door to me trusting you.
There is no denying how flipping scared I am. This is BIG. Like really really big. You heard my dreams, you saw a glimpse of what I'm hoping for and like how out of this world do they seem? How totally crazy and very ridonculous are they?! But there is something about sharing that with you, about pouring it all out in one big long rambling meander through the thoughts of my brain that let's it be okay.
I don't want to be sitting still, and I definitely don't want to be sitting comfortable... I want there to always be a need for courage - a need for bravery - a need for me to step over a hurdle and out of a box.
Will Starbucks ever know what thoughts are being forged, what dreams, hopes, fears, wants, desires, wonderings, wanderings are made within those walls?
Thank you for letting me into your life. Thank you for BEing the gift. Thank you for being an example of just how faithful God is to me.
Thank you for hugging me long, and joining me within the dark place - and yet nudging me to strive up the mountainside. Thank you for recognising the darkness and the confusion and the mess... and yet always having sight of and hope for the light that awaits.
Thank you for making me accountable, without judging me. For stretching me further and leading me forward. Thank you for being on the same page with me.
Most of all: that spark I mentioned earlier. I am breathing out long time in relief as I see something beautiful really shaping up....I can only see a glimpse, but that's all I needed. The struggle: the wrestling will be worth it. And finally there is hope.
There is always hope but it is so beautifully incredible when I begin to glimpse it once more... it takes me from living dead to living ALIVE. and oh boy that's amazing.
YOU are a beautiful woman. A daughter of God that is a spark of hope in yourself. Your dreams are wildly wonderful and beautifully BIG.
And you made me want to write with a voice of hope, and light, and wonder, and awe, and stepping forward. How exciting is that?!
I know that the darkness hasn't gone, I know there's a lot to work through...but maybe I am wanting to work through it all now.
Excited. SO excited. So INCREDIBLY excited.
Keep dreaming bigger, laughing for more, and hoping further.
With lots of love, blessings and thanks,
Grace Elizabeth xxx