Friday, 24 May 2013

Whispers of HE LOVES ME

It started with me forcing the words out.

In a hoarse whisper I push it out from the depths of my lungs into the empty air that surrounds me, so quiet I could barely hear myself 'I love you'.  'I want you, I want you, only you.'

And it's hard because I find myself following that and following this.  I want a man, I need a man to look after me.  Or I need a phone.  Or I need someone to text me.  I need.  I need.  I need.  And my demands are ever lengthening.  And it is no joke.  Falling into the world's clutching grasp does not take much.

But I sing the devil away.

Slowly at first.  Just that whisper.

But then I get this song, and I put it on repeat, and I sing along, and let it get ingrained into my skin, into my very being.

'I love the King...

{here comes the miracle...}

...and the King, He loves me.'

Sing with me. Because it is true for you too.  Just as I am.  Just as you are.  Just as we are.  He loves us.

So this is what I am meditating on tonight, as I sing out all my wants for control.  I let myself sink into my Father's arms, and He holds me tight, and rocks me slow.  And He lifts His hand to my eyes, and He dries them for today.

He loves me.

He loves me even when I have a go at Him, and tell Him off, even when I head off in my own direction.  He loves me.  Even when I forget to love Him, when I forget what it is to love Him.

He loves me.

The King loves me.

What started as a forced whisper becomes so much more, 
it becomes restoration, and healing, and learning to trust.

Soon I shall write another shopping list.  Like the last, but from the other side.  I will let my heart cry out what it longs for.