Wednesday, 29 May 2013

Now: 5 months!

When God put Now on my heart on January the 1st, every part of me wanted to refuse, I knew I was going to struggle, and I knew I was going to want to give up.

I was right, 5 months later, I struggle with it.  I grapple with it.  I wrestle with it.

Living Now is one of the hardest things I have ever tried to do, every single person I talk to asks me about the future, and I am still living in 2012.  I am being torn apart, and split in two, leaving no part of me living Now.

And it is so hard.

Daily, if not, weekly I am reminded that I need to live Now, when I lean forwards trying to live into the future all around me comes crashing down, and living in the past keeps me at a stand still.

But there is something I have learnt, whilst we are called to live Now, in this moment here, we are not called to live for Now.  As I have explored what it means to live Now, and as I have read books looking for this perspective, I was surprised when Rick Warren explicitly said that living for the Now is completely wrong.

I started to panic; Oh no! What have I done? Maybe I've gotten this all wrong, maybe I missed the point! But then I read back over his words and I looked with my eyes:

Living Now.
Living for Now.

have a very distinct difference: the 'for'.

Living Now is taking full advantage of the moment you are in, and knowing that there is no time like the present.  Where as Living for Now, is deciding there is nothing beyond this moment, it is deciding there is not anything bigger, and therefore it doesn't matter what you do, living for Now could be quite dangerous.

The truth is we are called to live for something bigger, for eternity.  Our end goal is not death, the end of us isn't something we are looking to.  We aren't looking to do all we can for a happy retirement.  We are storing our treasures up in heaven ready for eternity.

What I have learnt is that by living Now, {but not living for Now} I am finding the treasures in this moment here, even in desert lands I am finding the eternal-treasures and storing them up, by paying attention to the Now I see God revealed before my eyes.

Living Now isn't easy by any stretch of the imagination, it takes focus, and determination to always come back to the Now every. single. time. I fall away, but it is certainly taking me on a journey of learning, exploration, and discovery.

I really don't enjoy it most of the time, because I fail so often, but in the times I get it right I find it hard to see living any other way working out.