Monday, 18 March 2013

Another step {perhaps.}

I don't know what it has been about this week...

Perhaps the jugs of ice and water...
Perhaps the new toothbrush...
Perhaps the using just one towel after rushed showers...
Perhaps the remarkable starry nights...
Perhaps the day after day after day moments that I spend thinking and thinking about it...

I don't know.

But this week I've found myself in another dip.

Yearning, pining, wanting with every single part of me to be 4,307 miles away in the Dominican Republic.

BUT {and this is a BIG but} I have done a huge amount of realising this week as well.

I've made a link that I hadn't quite made before.

And you know I don't know if it's quite 100%, but you know maybe I am slightly understanding these feelings, these uncontrollable burning desires.

Almost 2 years ago I stood in a tent with 12,000 people and for one of the first times {in my life} I felt God's Spirit moving in me, really, really moving.

He called me to compassion.

He called me to a life of compassion.

He called me to compassion.

Maybe, just maybe, when I went to DR I found what that really means, and it made my heart so full and whole and bursting and ready to live, that coming back and feeling mundane has been hard.

But it gets rekindled, as I spend more and more hours looking into human trafficking I find myself wanting to travel to the {oh so many} places that human trafficking is happening.

This is my heart stirring, and it feels pretty big and scary.

But maybe I am not sold out for the DR {though there is no doubt as to my complete love for the place and every single part of me wanting to return one day} maybe what I am really sold out for is compassion.

And maybe I need to start to learn that, and let myself be moved by that, and maybe I need to learn it with room for spontaneity.

I don't know where this is going...

It isn't about me.