Oh yes, my brother lent the Lord of the Rings collection to me...it is awesome, really is.
And my heart is despairing and it aches and its yearning...relapse to wanting to be back in the Dominican Republic.
And no its not a relapse really; its just the buried feelings re-emerging. But I can get through it.
Its hard because there's this part of me that is just so mad at God, I mean what is He doing?! I don't want to be waiting, I feel prepared already, what is He going to do that will lead to so much greater things? I haven't seen it yet... it all seems pretty boring.
But He still doesn't fail me, as I struggle through and I worry He blesses me and keeps me safe. He pushes my comfort zones and always answers my prayers.
It's almost humourous...just at the moment when I want to run in the other direction God shows me another glimpse of Him and His heart, and I yearn to draw closer.
And as I draw closer the waiting seems worth it and I start imagining the bigger picture, and maybe I can live with this.