Wednesday, 13 February 2013

In which I address Valentine's Day.

Hello my dear,

I'm sure there's a part of me that would simply love to be able to welcome you in.  But I'm sorry I am going to have to shut the door.

There's something so very plastic and flimsy and meaningless about you, to be honest.

So as I open the door and smile at you, I close it again.

Because as I look around I see you emphasising the loneliness more than you celebrate the love.  And I can't pretend that I think that that is okay. I'm one of them, you know, one of those singletons, and you really do seem to feel the need to shove it in my face and wave it big 'YOU are STILL single!'  I'm like, 'Really? I hadn't noticed.'

Most of the year I wander along and of course I sometimes feel lost, but the truth is I don't need something to remind me of that half-empty feeling.

And more to the point YOU emphasise the lie that I am not complete without someone else.  YOU emphasise the lie that I am not worth anything until I have another half.  YOU emphasise the lie that I am incomplete without a husband, even when I'm with God.  And how can I break this to you? God is TOP, not your lies, not finding someone to marry or whatever else you seem to shove in my face, and that is that, really. Okay?

And sometimes I think we need to take a look at what we are really celebrating.  Because actually your whole affair seems to have become very consumeristic.  Before the January sales were even over your gifts and cards and merchandise seemed to start appearing on shelves, and let's be honest, are you really that big of a deal?

And it seems to me that you even manage to flimsy-fy what love actually is.

Because I find it impossible to describe, but I'm sure it is a LOT more than just an emotion or a feeling, and as God is love, there must be a whole lot more to it than I'm ever going to understand, and somehow you seem to wipe away the depth behind 'love' in one February-the-14th-sweep, and I'm thinking that I just need to step back and say 'No'.

Because there are things that the world does that I simply feel I have to say 'No' to, and I'm afraid you are one of them.

So thank you, kindly, for your call, thank you for trying to give me the time of day, but, for now at least, I am turning you away, there are other things I need to do.  And until I can say confidently  'I am only completed by God, no one else.' Until I stop letting myself believe I need a boy-man to come along and make me whole,  I am going to sit it out right over here, with you behind a closed door.

Because I need to be in the right place before I begin to give you the opportunity of entering in.

Oh and... please, do you mind leaving my friends alone too? Because these are people I care about, and you making them feel lonely is not something I am particularly grateful for. So just back off, just turn around, just settle down, please?

Thank you ever so much,

Grace Elizabeth


And this week I remove my shoes and my socks, and cleanse my feet, as I tread on Holy ground.  God blessed me with a Laptop all for me, and as His gift, I am yearning to turn it back to Him.  So this is the Holy ground I am walking on, and it is so beautifully amazing, and I am so wonderfully blessed.  {I am finding it hard to let go and be blessed...because imagine what that money could have paid for, oh SO many birth certificates.  Trusting that God's plans are bigger than my imaginings, and just thanking and thanking for His amazing gifts.}