The past few days everywhere I've looked I've seen the Dominican Republic. And to be honest it just gets me down, because I really want to be there still. And I don't have the money or the means to go this year. And will I be able to go next year? Or even the year after that? Will I ever be able to go? And I get onto this downward spiral, until I'm spiralling out of control, into the deep depths of worry and hurt and longing I have in my heart about it all.
I say I want to go to the Dominican Republic. And people ask me what it is I want to do there. To be honest, I just don't know, all my head can think is that I want to be there.
Today, this evening, I swallowed down my fears and went to meet with people from Church, a home group.
And I don't know why I was scared, I now feel blessed, and whole, and as I sat there, they slowly chipped off my thoughts and I let myself relax, and just sink into the moment.
And I could just be. Right there.
In there love, and laughs, and complete trust in just being themselves with each other, I took the tape-seals off of my guard and let it fall.
And maybe living-again, will happen.
There is always hope, and it does turn up in surprises, and God never fails.
Thank you God.