I keep trying to write, and the words don't seem to form. I have so much to say, but its hard to get it down onto paper. Perhaps it is what they call writer's block? I do not know, but it does hurt, because I do so love to write.
A week ago this evening I packed up my sleeping bag, pillow, blanket and PJs and took myself off to spend a weekend at church. It was the most beautiful couple of days, we joined together: friends old and new, and went along a journey. We discovered the signs of John, and the truths that they tell us.
Perhaps I will tell you of each one, I shall start with Jesus walking on water, you know when Peter walks on water to meet Jesus? He has to step out of the boat to do that, he has to step out of safety and out of his comfort zone, he starts moving closer to God, in doing so he creates a bigger risk of sinking. But, you know when he does start sinking? Jesus leans forward and pulls him back up immediately. Even in Peter's doubt, Jesus does not hesitate to help him back up, and to catch him when he's falling.
So, this call to 'Dare to live (safely)' it is about stepping out of the boat, stepping away from the safety nets we have built for ourselves, stepping out of our comfort zones and into the things that God has laid out for us, and they may be scary, they may be hard, but that '(safely)' isn't because of things we build around us, its not because we are careful where we tread, its because we are '(safely in His arms)'. As we climb out of the boat and onto the rocking seas, He is standing right nearby, ready for the first moment we doubt, the first moment that things start pulling us down, the first moment we want to turn back. He's ready to put out His arm and help us back up, to keep us standing for Him, keep us on track, to help us stay on the path He has laid out for us.
All this came as a huge challenge to me, especially when I realised we could have more than one boat. Because yes, I am absolutely learning to step out of the boat in some areas, and that is taking me to some incredible, beautiful places. However, in other areas of my life I've kept well and truly in the boat, yes sometimes it does rock, but I'm always safely inside.
I believe that God never makes the storms, but still they come and attack us, even when we're safely in the boat, and though God doesn't make them, He does use them to encourage us out of the boat and onto the sea, because He knows its just as safe out on the sea because He's always standing close ready to catch us.
At the end of the weekend, we sat together, with some objects, and we spoke blessings and callings and truths over each other from God. Two people gave me a pen, and now I can not hold a pen in the same way, there is something sacred and holy about it, the things I can write, words that can change, that can empower, that can encourage, but also words that can hinder, and hurt and pull down. I need to be careful with the words I write, but I promise to never stop writing, for now, as it is a gift all wrapped-up beautifully, with a ribbon and a bow given to me by God to help me, to build me, to change me, to show me, and as I unwrap the gift I am learning, and changing, and hoping.
I was also given a coke can, to show that all this energy I have, the stuff that keeps me running every day, that keeps me walking and talking, and doing, its from God. He gives me the energy to keep going, I must use that to the full.
Please get out of the boat with me? We can all walk on the water together if you would join me? God can and will catch us all, when we fall and stumble. He will help us in the storms and encourage us with gifts, all wrapped-up beautifully, we must learn to unwrap them and use them to the fullest potential possible.