If we're going to pray for the brokenhearted, are we not praying for ourselves?
Are we not broken? Because I know I am.
I try to pretend I'm not, I have to carry on with life, with a smile don't I?
But inside I have this big crack. Right now I am broken for the Dominican Republic. I am broken for other things too, but right now it's the Dominican Republic that's broken my heart.
I decided to do some baking today, just a simple cake, as I got out the weighing scales and set the hand to nought even the scales reminded me of the Dominican, and as I took a deep breath to hold myself together, I knew that this broken girl is going to stay broken for a long, long time.
And what I am realising is that actually me being broken is not a bad thing at all, I shouldn't be working to get myself fixed.
The me before I went to the Dominican Republic, was me, but it was the me of then, this is me now, and I am different. Something in me has been smashed to pieces, and that hurts, and its painful, but it is me, it is the me of the now.
We are all broken, no matter how hard we try to hide it, there is something that makes us broken,
'Break my heart for what breaks yours' - Hosanna, by Hillsong
What we have to do is ask God to make the thing that is broken inside of us, the same thing that breaks Him.
We have to ask God to align our hearts with His.
And God, in turn, asks us to turn that brokenness into good.
God doesn't want pain or brokenness or suffering, but He doesn't deny that it is there either, God is love, and God is good, so He asks us to act in love.
To show love.
Love is not just a feeling it is an action too.
He asks us not to battle or be at war with brokenness but to come alongside it with love, one day He will wipe away every tear with His indescribable love, but for now we have to show His love, we have to let it overflow from our hearts. His love will overflow and it will overtake the brokenness and His love is all-conquering and all-inclusive and all-caring and oh so, so many indescribable, incredible things.
That great massive crack? THAT is the space His love will overspill from...
God has broken my heart for the Dominican Republic, and never will I forget it at all, if every single thing I look at, smell, touch, experience or hear reminds me of it for the rest of my life, I am not going to complain, this is not about healing or forgetting or moving on, this is about using that great big crack, and letting it overspill with love.
Because being broken for something that is heart breaking is not wrong as long as that sort of being broken provokes us into love as an action.
So yes, I am brokenhearted, and yes that does mean that as I pray for the brokenhearted I am praying for myself, but if I did not know what it is to be broken how would I know what it is to experience love, to be filled and then overspill with love? Especially His love.
So join with me?
Let's pray for the brokenhearted: ourselves, our friends, are neighbours, our enemies, our teachers, our colleagues, our families, our churches, our everyones, our nobodies, our world.
Every single one of God's beautiful, chosen, loved but completely broken children.
And let's let ourselves be brokenhearted, so that His love can overspill from our cracks.