Starting something new and being thrown in the deep end.
...as I am sure you will understand by now, if you have been following each word that I write, new things terrify me.
They make me worry my head off, shake to the core and want to run in the other direction.
But the thing is there is no way of escaping them, no matter how hard I try, there is no way of escaping new things happening.
Each year, each month, each week, each day, each hour, each second, things change. And that can hurt, it can and it does really, really hurt.
But if things didn't change things like this very blog would not exist, in fact, I'm not sure that very many of the things I know would exist.
So as much as change scares me, as much as new things make me want to run a mile, and then dig a hole and bury myself in it, actually I do understand that change is important.
'Grace... It's a name for a girl...It's also a thought that changed the world' - Grace, by U2.
If we don't allow for change then we will never move on, we will never get out of the rut. We will never allow space for God's grace to come, and His love to overflow.
And what about His joy? That needs to be found too.
So even though God knows I find change hard, He helps me with that, He doesn't just hold out His hand, He scoops me up, like no-one else can, and pops me on His shoulders, and then He carries me through.
He carries me through in His arms of grace.
And slowly His world changes, not always in the way He likes, but always, in the end, towards the day when every tear will be wiped away. And I put my hand in the air, and wave it madly saying, shouting, screaming, 'I want to be part of YOUR change, God, I want to be part of YOUR revolution'. Although perhaps it is not a revolution...perhaps it is a radical movement, a movement back to the original roots of it all.
Jesus already changed the world by ultimate grace.
Love. Grace. Joy. Hope.
Take me, scared, frightened, wanting-to-turn-and-run, me.
And let me share this hope of a changed world, please?