Friday, 3 August 2012

Leaving hurts.

I am almost in tears.

In just a few hours over a week I'll be flying off to the Dominican Republic on a mission trip.

Tomorrow my friend goes away to Italy.

She's not just any friend. She's more than a friend. I might say she's like a sister, but she is so, so much more than that. When its me and her, we can face anything. When I fall down, she is always picking me up again. She gives me encouragement like no-one else. And opens my eyes to the love in my world, like no-one else can. I really don't know what I'll do without her.

The tears are falling.

I am crying out to God, because I don't know what to do. Turning to my friends, falling into their arms. Because I just don't have the legs to support myself, I never do.

I am lying here battling for why I am doing this? Why am I leaving family and so many friends behind for two weeks?

Its only two weeks, I know. But it seems like its going to be a lifetime.

'God, I can't find any other reason than you right now. Even the rain looks like precious jewels in the light: all IS grace. I know it, but its hard, its really, really hard. This is for you, please take it and use it, as I know you will. This is for you.'

My friend is leaving, and that is so, so hard. I'm going to have to fall into other arms, trust in them. And I'm scared.

I am always scared. And it hurts. It always does.

Here it is. Trusting even in the hard.

I'm going to miss you so, so much my friend. I don't know how long it will be until I see you. Thank you so, so much for everything. I'm praying.

I'm praying.

Pray with me.

Pray with me and look to the stars, for they will be the same wherever you are, wherever I am. Look to the skies and the clouds and the moon and the sun. Let's look to the light in the darkness, and learn to chase the moon together, but separately.

All is grace.

The tears will be gone one day, together we'll build His kingdom and together we'll enter in His gates.