I'm just not getting it. I can't understand it. And I can't get my head around it.
I want to live all for God. I want to give every single part of me to
Him. But what does this really mean when it comes to money?
I don't think that 10% seems quite right. Jesus asks us to live wholly for Him. How is keeping 90% living wholly for Him?
It feels like whatever percentage it is, I am dividing up my life, 30% for God,
24% for family, 46% for me. I don't know where these percentages would
lie, but if I only give 10% of money I receive, is God only going to
take part in, and bless my life in 10% of it?
If I did just give every penny away, will I be able to live? How do I
know where to give it to? Is giving it to my parents alright? Should I
give it all to the place I go to meet up with Church? How am I meant to
decide these things?
How do I find that much trust inside of me? Is that being too
ridiculous? Is that going too far? Or is that what God calls us to do?
If I'm going to live wholly for Him, does that mean I've got to give
away every bit of my money? As well as time? And gifts? And everything.
This is so hard.
I've answered my own question I think, it seems obvious to me.
The answer is, 'Of course!' But still, how do I give up everything?
Without ending up with nothing? Is it really nothing if I still have
God? It is so hard.
I just can't get my head around it.